Nobody likes to be ripped off. Actually, that’s not quite true. If you have a humiliation fetish, this post is full of useful information to help you with that. But for most, getting suckered leaves a nasty taste in your mouth and makes you feel silly and kind of vulnerable. Sometimes it can also be extremely inconvenient if your passport is stolen, for example.
We are all aware of many different internet scams. The rule with these is, that if it seems too good to be true, then it is. But this post is about real-life scams.
Live scams are different. When we travel, especially to more dodgy destinations, we have to be aware that we have instantly become targets for scammers. Don’t underestimate the term ‘dodgy’ either. You wouldn’t think Rome would be a dodgy destination but it is. Another dodgy place is Paris. I’ve personally never experienced more scams in a single day than I did in Paris in the summertime. It got tiring as it felt like I was under almost continuous attack from scammers. I haven’t been there, but a friend of mine said that Morocco was out of control and predatory in its scamming attacks. That doesn’t sound at all compelling as a place to visit.
In many places, scammers work under the supervision of gangs and are often children. As they are full-time professionals, their operations are sophisticated and clever.
Having travelled the world for 40 years, it’s easy to become complacent. But it never ceases to amaze me that just when you thought you had seen all the tricks, someone comes up with a new one. It’s pure genius and if that energy had been directed to medical research we’d have a cure for cancer by now.
So if a healthy 6ft male can be a victim, how bad can it get for a single female? Worse still, what about families travelling with children or the elderly?
I don’t want to put you off travel by listing all these scams but I do want to make you aware of them so that you can recognise them when they start and avoid an unhappy ending. My advice is to read through this now for entertainment, then refresh yourself just before your arrival and be ready for all-out war.
Let’s start with a few rules for staying safe.
Carry your cash, cards and important stuff in a concealed money belt. These strap around your waist and sit at the front of your body.
Carry a readily accessible high-pitched alarm.
As a rule, anyone who gets too close to you is trying to rob you. Have a virtual safety perimeter of 6 ft or 2 metres.
When paying for something, always count your change and check that it’s not counterfeit.
When someone is being nice to you, the rule is that they are not being nice.
Look for distractions. Distractions are often manufactured so that you can be pickpocketed while you are distracted.
Don’t allow yourself to be bullied. Many simple scams are attempts at extortion. Aggressive scammers will bully weaker people, so even if you know you are being scammed you might pay anyway. Older people are more susceptible to this.
Learn to say fuck-off loudly and with intent. Don’t worry, ‘fuck-off’ means the same in every language in the world. I remember using it in Bulgaria once. The man responded by waving his arms around and saying, “Blah blah blah ‘fuck-off’ blah blah blah blah.” Then he walked away, defeated.
The more common scams
Pickpockets have always been a thing since Adam started wearing shorts with a pocket. They can be basic attempts or full-on coordinated gang action. Pickpockets on trains and buses are particularly hard to spot because everyone is in close proximity. If possible, avoid public transport during rush hours. Otherwise, secure all of your valuables before heading out for the day. For instance, stash cash and cards in hidden money belts as mentioned above. Any strategy that will thwart sticky fingers is good.
Pickpocketing is all about distractions. Someone creates a scene or a diversion and while you are distracted, they steal your wallet. Any sort of distraction should be an immediate red flag that puts you on alert.
The ‘shell game’ is one such distraction which also has other ways of raising income. A game master plays hide-and-seek with three cups and a ball. Players bet on the ball’s location. Associates acting as tourists guess correctly, or the leader of the scam allows a few real people to win. Eventually, the scammer will remove the ball or pay the winners with counterfeit money. Pickpockets also roam the crowd.
The bird shit distraction is also popular. A passerby squirts you with a liquid which looks like a fake bird dropping. While you inspect the goo, an accomplice pickpockets you. The squirter might also try to clean the spot which is another diversionary tactic. Other distract-the-tourist ploys include an elderly person falling, a woman tossing a baby or cat at you, or someone dropping a wallet and accusing you of pocketing the contents after you pick it up. The rule here is never to pick something up off the ground.
People will sometimes come up to you and offer to sell you a map. While they do this, their mate will pickpocket you. Afterwards, you will not only still be lost, but you will be lost and poor.
In other basic scams, deaf, blind, or pregnant people, sometimes accompanied by a ‘helper’, or just plain beggars, will ask you for money. Women with babies are common. Children are also frequently used by begging gangs to collect money. This is because it’s difficult for most people to say no to the old, injured, or young. Sometimes an accomplice nearby is just watching to see where you keep your wallet so they can pickpocket you later.
Bag thieves are also common. If you put your backpack on a spare seat while you have coffee, it can easily be stolen when you are distracted. Carrying a small safety lock and chain to attach it to the chair can allow you to relax. These lock chains can also be useful on buses and trains to attach bags to racks in storage areas. It’s impossible to watch them all the time.
Bag snatching and running or driving are also common. When you are walking alongside a busy road, bag snatchers in cars or on motorbikes can drive past and snatch your bag off your shoulder. I saw this once on the Las Vegas strip.
Fake porters in Rome railway station are known for dressing up in fake uniforms and offering to carry your bags to your carriage. While their friends distract you, they will disappear with your belongings. Many railway stations are a cesspool of scamming. Rome railway station always makes the top 10 list.
Another popular scam is the camera scam. While hanging out in a busy tourist location or landmark, a ‘friendly’ local offers to take a group photo of you and your friends. As you’re getting ready to pose for your awesome new Facebook profile picture, you look up and realize your new friend has completely disappeared. And so has your expensive camera or phone.
Slightly more sophisticated scams
My sons and I got hit with the ‘shiny ring’ scam in Paris at the base of the Montmartre steps. A helpful local found a gold ring (plastic) on the ground and asked whether it was ours. We said no but the person forced it on us anyway and then badgered us for money. As an example to my three sons, I gave the ring back and when the guy got nasty I told him to fuck-off in no uncertain terms.
This can also happen with friendship bracelets or even a sprig of rosemary. The rosemary is only useful if you are cooking roast lamb that day, which is unlikely when on holiday. Never accept unsolicited gifts. Don't even look at the item, or you could suddenly find yourself with a friendship bracelet wrapped around your wrist. Return the item and walk away and if they follow you, you know what to say!
And speaking of major attractions like Montmartre, a common travel scam in major tourist areas starts with some friendly local approaching you and informing you that the attraction you want to visit is closed for any number of reasons (religious ceremony, holiday, etc.). Then they’ll guide you to a different attraction or shop where you’re pressured to purchase something or pay a lot for an entry ticket. Just don’t go. Continue to the attraction. It will be open.
That brings me to tickets. Ticket scams are popular in many countries. With these, someone offers to sell you train tickets at a discount or encourages you to avoid the queue and pay a slightly higher price. Maybe a kind taxi driver offers to take you to his friend who’s a local travel agent. However, the tickets they are selling won’t be real, and by the time you figure it out, the scammers are gone with your money. Always buy transportation tickets from the official ticket office.
Fake merchandise is common when travelling whether it be sitting on a rug on the side of the road or in stores. Sometimes, a local casually brings up his lucrative side business of buying jewellery, gemstones, watches or carpets then selling them back in Western countries for a fat profit. He offers to share how he does it and shows you where to find the best deal. The only problem is that these products are fake.
Sometimes a vendor will show you a high-end item, such as a leather purse or wallet, and you agree on a reasonable price. After paying, the seller substitutes the item for a knockoff. Another possibility is that the item was a fake from the start, perhaps an antique with a rich history which was made last week in China. Or maybe it’s a precious gem or jewellery which turns out to be worthless. Don’t buy expensive luxury items overseas, no matter how good the deal is unless it’s from a legitimate store. Remember, if it’s too good to be true, then it isn’t true.
Fake tours are also a thing. In this case, a fake tour operator offers you an excursion or tour that never happens. Stick to official tours.
Do you like to get in behind a good cause? Fake petitions which propose to build something useful or put a stop to something bad are a common scam. If they don’t demand money to help with the cause, they will pickpocket you while you are signing it. Often these scammers are disabled or posing as a charity worker or even a boy scout.
Heard enough? Wait, there’s more. Here’s a sprinkling: A man drops down and starts to shine your shoes then demands payment. This is particularly annoying if the shoes are fabric. A local might claim to want to practice English or need help writing a letter in English. The individual then takes you to a store, where an employee pressures you to buy something. Or a stranger invites you to a teahouse, restaurant or bar. At the end of the meal or drink, the waiter delivers an exorbitant bill and insists that you pay it. If you didn’t see this coming, I have next week's lotto numbers to sell you. It goes on and on doesn’t it and they haven’t even offered the set of steak knives yet.
My two favourite scams both actually happened to me. The first was in Fiji when I was 19. A man approached me with a wooden sword and asked my name. He then started to carve the name into the sword. He demanded $20 for a $1 sword. I think I ended up giving him $5 and learning a lesson. The next time I went back, it happened again but this time I said my name was Bartholomew Kingswater-Stevenson. When he had finished I paid him nothing and walked off. This scam is still going on today in Fiji but now it’s my guy’s son doing it.
Perhaps my favourite scam was the Red Rose scam. It was sheer brilliance and it happened to me in Barcelona. I was with my wife and a well-dressed young man carrying a bunch of roses came up to us and gave my wife a rose. Then he wanted payment of $10 for the rose. This is brilliant because, although you both know you are being scammed, there is a certain hesitation when it comes to suggesting your wife shouldn’t have the rose. You get an uneasy feeling that even she is on the side of the scammer, and no matter what you do, you can’t win. And you can’t.
Have you had enough yet? Or do you want more? Sadly we are just getting started with the simple scams. We’ve really just covered a lazy afternoon walking the streets of Cairo. If you like more of a challenge, try these.
More sophisticated scams
Counterfeit money is common in many countries. This can happen to you in many ways. I got shafted in a taxi in Buenos Aires. I gave the driver real currency. He handed it back and said it was counterfeit. I gave him another note and he did the same. What he was doing was quickly hiding the real notes and giving back his counterfeit notes. Once I realised what was happening, I just got out and walked off.
The currency exchange booths in shonky places will do the same. They will give you counterfeit money or obsolete notes. This also happens in restaurants and the like.
Taxi drivers are up there with the real pros when it comes to ripping people off. I was one for a year in 1981 so I know. Burfoot’s third law states that ‘The Taxi Driver Will Always Rip you off’. They do this in many ways. They can claim that the meter is broken, and then they will charge you an outrageous fee at the end of the ride. More commonly they will just forget to start the meter. I always look out for this at the start. If the meter is already running with a total on it, get them to restart it when you depart.
Another thing that drivers will do in many places is divert to places where they get a commission for bringing you there. You just need to be forceful with this, although if you have nothing better to do it can be quite interesting. My son and I had a fun afternoon doing this in Bangkok. We wound up the vendors in a big way. It was such a laugh. At one point a vendor thought we were about to purchase a $100,000 piece of jewellery. He nearly fell over when I asked for a price for two of them. We were lucky we weren’t shot in the end.
Here are some rules for using taxis. Never hail a cab from the street. Ask a reputable establishment to call you a cab. Know the general cost of the ride. Ask the hotel concierge or consult an online fare calculator. Always confirm that the meter works or negotiate the fee in advance. Know the address and hours of operation of your destination. If the driver attempts to take you elsewhere, firmly repeat your desired location or terminate the ride. Use Google Maps to keep the driver honest and on course. To avoid taxis entirely, use a ride-hailing service such as Uber or Lyft or the local equivalent. At least there is an online record of what occurred with these services which tends to keep them more honest.
One last thing to be cautious of is the taxi driver taking off with your bag. If the bag is in the trunk, don’t get out until the driver is out and opening the trunk, or you may be standing there watching the cab drive off with your bag still in it.
If all else fails with the taxi scams and they haven’t got you yet, there is one thing you can absolutely guarantee that they will get you on. They will take you the long way. They've worked hard trying to rip you off, so show some charity and give them this one. Throw them a bone.
If you are too scared to take a taxi so you decide to rent a vehicle instead, get ready for a whole new world of pain in doubtful countries. This is where it can start to get a whole lot more expensive so the scammers are on a different level from the garden variety ones earlier in this article.
If we are talking about a car rental, when you return the vehicle they may invent some damage that you didn’t do and hand you a hefty, over-inflated bill. They may threaten to not return your deposit and involve the police if you don’t pay. Even if you do pay, they won’t repair the vehicle as that would ruin the scam for the next customer.
When driving a rental car around, someone might intentionally crash into you to extract cash for damage. Another trick is to put something on the road to puncture your tires. Then when you pull over, they will offer to help and an accomplice will rob your car while you are distracted.
In places like the Greek Islands where the roads are better suited to mopeds and scooters, the moped or scooter will get damaged (or even stolen) overnight. The owner will demand additional payment or expensive repairs as compensation. What you don’t know is that it was the owner or his friends who caused the damage or stole the bike from you. A rental company employee might have trailed you and damaged the rental while you were sleeping. Take photos of the bike when you start the rental to document previous damage. Use your own lock, not one provided by the rental guy (who may have a 2nd set of keys). Don’t tell the company where you’re really staying, and make sure there’s a safe place to leave the bike overnight. If damage does occur, take it to a repair shop recommended by someone other than the bike’s owner.
This fake damage scam also applies to jetskis in places like Thailand in beach resorts like Pattaya, Phuket or Hua Hin. To rent a jetski or scooter, you will sometimes be asked to provide your passport along with a huge deposit. Generally, you can kiss some of this money goodbye. Take pictures of any scratches or dents before you leave, in full view of the renter. Check the underneath of the jetski in particular and photograph marks and scrapes. Never hand over your passport to anyone. Carry photocopies of your passport for these occasions.
I get the feeling that about now, you are thinking, ‘This bloke is a full-on cynic. He should have more faith in the goodness of human beings. If I really get into trouble I can always call the police.’
Good luck with that because a common scam in certain countries is fake police officers.
The fake police officer scam is a popular one in many large cities. Most often, a person will approach a tourist and offer illicit items, like drugs. While discussing the transaction, one or two other people will approach. They will claim to be police officers and flash their badges. They will then insist that you hand over your passport and wallet. They are not police officers. Never hand over your wallet or passport. Request they show you their identification and then inform them you will call the real police to confirm they are who they say they are. Or tell them your passport is locked up in the hotel safe, and they’ll need to accompany you to your hotel. If they don’t allow this, simply walk away.
Sometimes an impostor pretending to be an undercover police officer will issue you a fine for a bogus minor offense like jaywalking. Ask to see their I/D and ask to be shown the law that you have supposedly broken. Then tell them to fuck-off.
ATMs in foreign countries are fraught with danger, if only for the fees that you might get charged for using them. But it can get a lot worse with the different scams involving ATMs. Someone might approach you at an ATM cash machine to ‘help you avoid local bank fees’. What they really want to do is scan your ATM card with the card skimmer in their pocket and watch you enter your PIN number so they can drain your account later. Never let anyone near you while you’re making an ATM transaction, and ALWAYS cover the number pad with your other hand while entering your PIN code. If someone approaches, take your card and find another ATM.
Sick of being smashed by scammers yet? Ready for a coffee and catch up with friends at home using the coffee shop's free wifi? While you can find WiFi almost anywhere these days, some of those free unlocked connections might be dangerous. Hackers will set up tempting unsecured wifi hotspots in public locations that unsuspecting victims eagerly connect to. This gives the thief access to your computer, passwords, online accounts, and more.
Always ask the hotel/coffee shop/airport staff which wifi connection is the official one.
To encrypt all your online activity, use a VPN, or virtual private network. There are many good ones out there. They also allow you to connect to secure, worldwide servers and switch your virtual location to almost anywhere with a few clicks.
Are you waving a white flag yet? Even if you are not, you’ll be worn out and need a good night's sleep but don’t relax completely. While staying at a hotel, you might get a call from the front desk in the middle of the night to confirm your credit card details. Only it isn’t the front desk calling. It’s a scammer who will drain your accounts when he makes a copy of your card using the details you gave him over the phone. Never give out credit card details over the phone. Go down to the front desk in person the next morning if there is a problem.
While in the hotel don’t fall for this one either. Two people wearing hotel gear knock on your door and say it's a routine room inspection. One distracts you while the other steals your shit. There is no such thing as a routine room inspection. Write that down five times.
On day two, you can relax because all the scams have already been committed on you. You are now a seasoned traveller. You might even be tempted by the guy offering fake doctors certificates so you can claim on travel insurance when you get home and recoup some of day one’s losses. Don’t. Insurance companies didn’t come down in the last shower. File the lessons and learnings away, relax and head out for a drink.
If you are a single guy, going out for a drink in many of these dodgy countries can be quite an ego boost. You might discover that beautiful local women seem to pay much more attention to you than back home. This just confirms to you that the women back home have zero taste. One of these gorgeous locals invites you out to a nightclub or bar and you start to wonder if this could possibly be your next wife. But after a wild night, the woman disappears and you’re forced to pay an overpriced bill. Be wary of attractive women who are unusually forward or hitting on you aggressively. It is every straight man’s dream to be propositioned by beautiful women, but if it’s not a normal occurrence for you, then it’s probably a scam.
If it is a normal occurrence for you then you are a lucky lucky bastard. But beware of being drugged and robbed.
Quite a few pilots I have known have had this happen to them. One minute they are out drinking, then the next minute they wake up in their room and their wallet is gone, along with all their valuables from their room. There have been cases of people having organs stolen in this way. Of course, this is not just a men’s problem. It is very common for women to have drinks spiked and end up falling victim to sexual assaults. Never accept a drink from a stranger and never let your drink out of your site in any country. Be aware that sometimes a barman is involved with this setup as well.
On that delightful note, I will wrap this up because I’m sure right now, you have given up on the idea of travel altogether and are currently hiding in your wardrobe sucking your thumb.
I want you to know that it’s been just as tough on me writing this. I’ve gone through a third of a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue to settle my nerves.
Keep in mind that this list is not the last word because even as I write, some evil bastard will be coming up with a new scam. Travel scams are indeed diverse and in many cases very clever. Be pre-warned and on guard when you travel. It’s a minefield out there.
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